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We chatted for three hours over coffee on a foggy San Francisco morning. His bright eyes flickered as he told me about his recent hiking trip through New Zealand. I related, shared my own New Zealand travel stories, and fought the urge to imagine us rolling around in a large hammock off the shores of Papua New Guinea. I believed we would definitely see each other again and felt grateful to have met someone so easygoing.
Believing this was a segue into a future dinner invite, I enthusiastically told him I loved raw fish. Then, he looked up and crinkled his nose, confused. The whole thing sounds a little ridiculous, but I do understand where a heavy drinker could get it all mixed up in their head. The guy changed the subject after that, hugged me, and never spoke to me again. Scenarios like this are not uncommon for non-drinkers dating in a world where booze remains a key player in socializing, and especially the awkward beginnings of a relationship.
Before I stopped drinking almost seven years ago, I would have never wanted to date a sober person because I knew we could not share in the hobby I loved most. There was no way, or so I thought, that I could do any of that on my own.
A New Dating App for Sober People
But sobriety has given me my standards back. A lcohol and online dating need each other like the internet needs porn. But a few drinks can very quickly paper over the fact you and Mr Red Pants have nothing in common, zero chemistry and that the only thing keeping the conversation going is the promise of being bought drinks and that someone else will pay for the cab home.
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Living in Worthing , UK Vegetarian diet. Hi my name is Pablo from Sunny Worthing where I have lived for nearly 2 years. Working 3 days a week and 1 day a week at college. I try to spend some weekends on my boat on the Oxford Canal and also try to get to some festivals in the summer. I would like to go to Japan and Mexico. I enjoy learning and studying and have numerous degrees and diplomas, I am currently doing a diploma in reflexology. I enjoy new experiences, people and places.
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As the nights draw in and garden parties and festivals become a distant memory, you may be considering cutting down on your drinking. But it can be easier said than done — especially for those on the dating scene. And he would know. After he realised it was taking longer and longer to recover after a night out, he challenged himself and succeeded in not drinking for 10 years. It sounds obvious, but being able to recall what your date has said scores major points. And that’s crucial to winning a second or third date.
If you think you missed the chance to say something when you met, just save it for next time. Drinking can make you distracted says Blackman. The sort of person you will want to date will be interested in finding out more, and your sober-stint will be a conversation starter. You can find our Community Guidelines in full here. Want to discuss real-world problems, be involved in the most engaging discussions and hear from the journalists?
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5 Sober Dating Apps For People Who Don’t Want to Drink
Whether dating apps are causing a “dating apocalypse” or are merely the easiest way to get a date, there’s no denying these tools have been total gamechangers in the dating scene within the last few years. And even though dating apps are most popular among Millennials, according to a recent Bustle survey with dating app Happn of over 1, dating app users, 78 percent of women and 85 percent of men still want to meet people IRL. That’s why for the second year in a row, Bustle is deeming April, ” App-less April ” and encouraging our staff and readers to delete their dating apps for 30 days and meet people the old-fashioned way: offline.
Luckily, one year-old San Francisco man has developed an app for just this purpose. If you’re hoping to meet other sober people, look no.
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